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Saturday, May 12, 2012

Not Easy to Forget the Hurt but Easier to Forgive

While it is easier to forgive another person's wrongdoing to you, it is not easy to forget the hurting that one had gone through.  Most of the time the wrong doer did not know what she or he was saying or doing due to Satanic jealousy or utmost self righteousness. I often find the main fault of individuals among my midst was jealousy and a little less was self righteousness.
The holier than thou attitude was becoming more of a way of thinking compared to the God pleasing humility. Perhaps it is self confidence gone too far.
Regular church goers are known to carry about this kind of attitude and I wonder what their minds were focussed on when the preachers were giving their sermons.  Hadn't we been told not to be self righteous? Isn't that a sin too?  Right after the morning service, I could hear people talking like they did not open their ears throughout the sermons. ' I learnt this and that when I was in Sunday school. I was taught to do this the right way. You hadn't learnt the right way. You are doing wrong.'  I heard this when one church member was telling another church member how she should go about witnessing to non-Christians. Then, in another crowd, 'I am a Catholic, you know.  What are you? We do it like this and like that.  Unlike yours, you know.  We don't do it anyhow, you know.'  The trouble with some people is that they dwell in disunity rather than unity.  They believe in one God and yet want to remain different.  For the sake of individualism?  I wonder if God likes to see His children disunited? I know my earthly father never liked his children to be that way.
I used to have a girl friend who was extremely jealous of my slimness, ample bosom and good height.  I felt so wrong to possess the physique that I was endowed with when she would pass hurting remarks about how I dressed to purposely expose certain parts of my body  to attract the males' attention.  I was totally innocent of it because I used to wear hand-me-down clothes. They were my sister's  and she was a working adult when I was only a teenager at school.  The clothes had lower necklines and some were quite thin. During those days there were few off the hanger clothes  for teenagers and because I had not a mother, nobody really cared that much how I looked.  I was told not to complain too much and to feel grateful for what was given to me.  I really had not much of a choice; there were already very few clothes in my wardrobe and I had been wearing the same clothes week in and week out. When my friend criticised me about the clothes I wore,  I was extremely hurt.  I was me,  conservative in thinking and  never was the type to try to flirt with another person's boyfriend.  I believed in myself and would not let anybody put me down. My style of dressing had not done justice to my real personality.  I had to take all the hurt quietly and at times, I was angry at my sister for handing down to me all her clothes which did not fit me very well.
Later, I learnt that I must really guard my mouth and not speak words to hurt people.  Most importantly, I have to nail the sin of jealousy and self righteousness on the cross. When a woman is jealous, she is most tempted to backstab, which is really very bad. We all are tempted to sin.  Pray that God will help me have a tight rein on my tongue, so that whatever words that come out of my mouth, they will be a good testimony to His grace.

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