The other day I let myself loose, meaning I went back to my old self
of being grouchy, resentful, hateful, revengeful and bitter. It was
so easy to fall into Satan's temptations. Completely effortless.
I began the morning by uttering a negative remark, spoiling everybody's mood for that day.
I refused to feel bad about it. I stuck to the thought that I was being very right about what I had to say.
The afternoon went past terribly as if the morning outcry of unhappiness had some sort of a domino effect on events that followed later. Just after everybody had left the house , I was set to go and do my usual errands. I was about to reverse my car out of my car porch when my neighbour who lives directly opposite did the same. For a moment, I did not see her car reversing for my mind was focussed on the front . I had thought the coast was clear and I need not worry about the back so much. That was because when I opened my gate earlier, I did not see anybody outside her house. Fortunately, I slammed on the brakes just in time to avoid crashing on the rear side of her car. I was extremely mad at her for it was not the first time that lady was in my way. A few days ago, she had parked her car in front of my house making it impossible for me to drive my car back to the porch, I had to wait for her to come out of her house in her sweet time to have her park her car properly, that was to park it in her own porch. I was actually very provoked that day into blowing my top off but I had myself under very good control. However it was a different matter this particular day. Satan wanted me to show her how much I had tolerated her nonsense, so I hit on my car horn so hard that it sounded very loudly. I could see her sulking and I even gave her my most unfriendly stare. Yes, I thought, don't you think you deserve this? You have been asking for this kind of treatment, right? I am giving it to you today. I am very good at doing this , you know, but I had long put 'it' in cold storage, all for the love of my Lord Jesus. Not because I am scared of offending you but because I fear God more. Still, God doesn't think I am doing right.
The next bad thing that followed was I had to stop my lesson halfway and had to leave my student in the house while I went off to pick up my son from the train station. God gave me another trial. Somehow, I misunderstood my son's message and thought that he would soon be on his way when in actual fact , he was not. He had just left the school premises and had not got on board the train yet. I wasted my time waiting at the pick up point for 45 minutes and my student was very unhappy as she expected me to be back 15 minutes later. I got into a rage again. When I saw my son's tired face and having to bear the brunt of my frustrations, suddenly I was awakened and I realised how selfish I had become. How ugly one can get if one does not give the day to Christ? I realised that I did not read His Word or say a word of prayer that morning. I must have been bogged down by my recent busyness that I was not giving Him sufficient attention. I have behaved like a wild hungry beast. Forgive me Lord!
1 Timothy 2:2-3...for kings and all those in authority, that we may live peaceful and quiet lives in all godliness and holiness. This is good, and pleases God our Saviour, who wants all men to be saved and come to a knowledge of the truth.
Pray that I may have the peace in my heart always , and let God's love shine through me.
I began the morning by uttering a negative remark, spoiling everybody's mood for that day.
I refused to feel bad about it. I stuck to the thought that I was being very right about what I had to say.
The afternoon went past terribly as if the morning outcry of unhappiness had some sort of a domino effect on events that followed later. Just after everybody had left the house , I was set to go and do my usual errands. I was about to reverse my car out of my car porch when my neighbour who lives directly opposite did the same. For a moment, I did not see her car reversing for my mind was focussed on the front . I had thought the coast was clear and I need not worry about the back so much. That was because when I opened my gate earlier, I did not see anybody outside her house. Fortunately, I slammed on the brakes just in time to avoid crashing on the rear side of her car. I was extremely mad at her for it was not the first time that lady was in my way. A few days ago, she had parked her car in front of my house making it impossible for me to drive my car back to the porch, I had to wait for her to come out of her house in her sweet time to have her park her car properly, that was to park it in her own porch. I was actually very provoked that day into blowing my top off but I had myself under very good control. However it was a different matter this particular day. Satan wanted me to show her how much I had tolerated her nonsense, so I hit on my car horn so hard that it sounded very loudly. I could see her sulking and I even gave her my most unfriendly stare. Yes, I thought, don't you think you deserve this? You have been asking for this kind of treatment, right? I am giving it to you today. I am very good at doing this , you know, but I had long put 'it' in cold storage, all for the love of my Lord Jesus. Not because I am scared of offending you but because I fear God more. Still, God doesn't think I am doing right.
The next bad thing that followed was I had to stop my lesson halfway and had to leave my student in the house while I went off to pick up my son from the train station. God gave me another trial. Somehow, I misunderstood my son's message and thought that he would soon be on his way when in actual fact , he was not. He had just left the school premises and had not got on board the train yet. I wasted my time waiting at the pick up point for 45 minutes and my student was very unhappy as she expected me to be back 15 minutes later. I got into a rage again. When I saw my son's tired face and having to bear the brunt of my frustrations, suddenly I was awakened and I realised how selfish I had become. How ugly one can get if one does not give the day to Christ? I realised that I did not read His Word or say a word of prayer that morning. I must have been bogged down by my recent busyness that I was not giving Him sufficient attention. I have behaved like a wild hungry beast. Forgive me Lord!
1 Timothy 2:2-3...for kings and all those in authority, that we may live peaceful and quiet lives in all godliness and holiness. This is good, and pleases God our Saviour, who wants all men to be saved and come to a knowledge of the truth.
Pray that I may have the peace in my heart always , and let God's love shine through me.
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