Watching her father, who walked with a limp caused by a longer right leg(a defect since child birth), working under the hot tropical sun ached her heart. Sheila was angry with him but at the same time, she also pitied him. Angry at him for remarrying someone much too young, nearly half his age and fathering two more children in his mid fifties. Pitied him because he had to do it for his own survival or was it for hers too? Sheila took all this in quietly and without any show of her true mixed feelings.
She felt that she had no right to interfere because she was still eating out of his hands instead of helping him. Another two years more, she would be out of school and would be legally employable. There was no doubt he loved all of them, her half siblings and her. He was a great man, generous to others but not too much luxuries for himself.
He taught her the virtues of tolerance and humility. He believed that when there is harmony in the family, all things will be fine. Sheila wanted this to happen in her family and that was why she had never stir up any discontent or disagreement in the family. She wanted life for her father to be easier as he stayed 'sandwiched' between her stepmum and her. Sheila tried not to compete for his attentions. Some of her mum's good friends praised her for being understanding and for having a good behaviour. They even said that her mum would be very proud of her 'up in Heaven', as most Buddhists would believe that good souls 'go up to Heaven' whereas evil ones 'go down to Hell'.
Sheila had never asked for financial help for further education, knowing how bad her father's situation was at the time she graduated from high school. Two babies to feed, her elder brother's education to finance, which eventually stopped after a year, a young wife to lavish spending on to make her happy, new in-laws to give treats and gifts to, now and then. He was not a rich man but that was not what he had impressed on his new wife and the ever encroaching in-laws. In a way, Sheila supposed, it was all done to make the stepmum's friends and relatives think that she had married a rich old man. At this, Sheila sighed heavily for she knew her father's age was catching up and it was very hard for him to keep up.
Much later after her father had passed on, she was surprised at some accusations that she had actually pestered her father often for financial assistance to study overseas. What on earth would she want to do that for? She had not even applied to any university overseas? Even the fees needed for a local college was hard to get, what more any amount for studies overseas! She was very clear about the situation then. Definitely it was not what she had done. She did not know whether to be infuriated or to laugh. Whatever accusations were made , she supposed they were merely to justify one's guilt but who is blaming anybody? Who is complaining about anything? Isn't life too short for us to dwell on the stupid past? Sheila had long resigned to fate or rather she believed it is all in God's big plan for her. Blaming this and that will just mean she is not happy with God. That is the last thing she wants to do!
She felt that she had no right to interfere because she was still eating out of his hands instead of helping him. Another two years more, she would be out of school and would be legally employable. There was no doubt he loved all of them, her half siblings and her. He was a great man, generous to others but not too much luxuries for himself.
He taught her the virtues of tolerance and humility. He believed that when there is harmony in the family, all things will be fine. Sheila wanted this to happen in her family and that was why she had never stir up any discontent or disagreement in the family. She wanted life for her father to be easier as he stayed 'sandwiched' between her stepmum and her. Sheila tried not to compete for his attentions. Some of her mum's good friends praised her for being understanding and for having a good behaviour. They even said that her mum would be very proud of her 'up in Heaven', as most Buddhists would believe that good souls 'go up to Heaven' whereas evil ones 'go down to Hell'.
Sheila had never asked for financial help for further education, knowing how bad her father's situation was at the time she graduated from high school. Two babies to feed, her elder brother's education to finance, which eventually stopped after a year, a young wife to lavish spending on to make her happy, new in-laws to give treats and gifts to, now and then. He was not a rich man but that was not what he had impressed on his new wife and the ever encroaching in-laws. In a way, Sheila supposed, it was all done to make the stepmum's friends and relatives think that she had married a rich old man. At this, Sheila sighed heavily for she knew her father's age was catching up and it was very hard for him to keep up.
Much later after her father had passed on, she was surprised at some accusations that she had actually pestered her father often for financial assistance to study overseas. What on earth would she want to do that for? She had not even applied to any university overseas? Even the fees needed for a local college was hard to get, what more any amount for studies overseas! She was very clear about the situation then. Definitely it was not what she had done. She did not know whether to be infuriated or to laugh. Whatever accusations were made , she supposed they were merely to justify one's guilt but who is blaming anybody? Who is complaining about anything? Isn't life too short for us to dwell on the stupid past? Sheila had long resigned to fate or rather she believed it is all in God's big plan for her. Blaming this and that will just mean she is not happy with God. That is the last thing she wants to do!
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