Saturday, June 9, 2012
Sunday, June 3, 2012
One is One, Two is Two; Get down to Honesty
One of the common mistakes all little children will make is telling little lies. Yes, the lie may be very small but if not corrected immediately, the child may think it is so easy to get away with it and may do it over and over again until he or she gets older.
In actual fact, they learn to tell lies from adults, probably their own parents, grandparents, uncles or aunts or older brothers or sisters.
Bob told his son that if 'so and so' called ,' tell him that I am not at home'. 'Don't tell him I am sleeping'.
Why, daddy? asked the little boy.
Just do what I said. Don't you be stupid.
So, from this, the little boy learns to lie to his friends that he is not at home when in actual fact he is.
He also lies about a lot of many other things.
Hey, why don't you join us for a movie?
Oh, I will be away somewhere. That is a lie again. He is not going anywhere. Why is it so hard to say that he cannot possibly afford to because he has spent a lot of money on study materials? Is being poor so shameful?
Children should be taught to be brave to face up to the truth. Honesty is still the best policy.
In actual fact, they learn to tell lies from adults, probably their own parents, grandparents, uncles or aunts or older brothers or sisters.
Bob told his son that if 'so and so' called ,' tell him that I am not at home'. 'Don't tell him I am sleeping'.
Why, daddy? asked the little boy.
Just do what I said. Don't you be stupid.
So, from this, the little boy learns to lie to his friends that he is not at home when in actual fact he is.
He also lies about a lot of many other things.
Hey, why don't you join us for a movie?
Oh, I will be away somewhere. That is a lie again. He is not going anywhere. Why is it so hard to say that he cannot possibly afford to because he has spent a lot of money on study materials? Is being poor so shameful?
Children should be taught to be brave to face up to the truth. Honesty is still the best policy.
Win That Battle
Life seems hopeless for Cecelia. For twenty years she has been praying faithfully that her husband will
one day abandon his old way of life for the sake of his children. He has not changed at all, getting worser each day after their first child was born. Blissful marriage life did not last long. It ended a year after the marriage vows were taken.
Cecelia refused to give up hope. Her children are her consolation. What made her husband break his promise was something she did not understand. There were some underlying problems that he had not revealed to her. They slowly surfaced throughout the years and at first, Cecelia felt very hurt. It was very unfair to her and she felt cheated. As days went by, she found that her husband could not forget his past and sometimes, he would be mad for reasons incomprehensible to Cecelia. Sometimes when an argument arose, though it was hardly about anything serious, she was hurled with accusations of causing the unhappiness in the family. Her husband would make the children believe she was the bad person.
Cecelia understood that her husband was facing some psychological problems though she could not pin point exactly the nature of it. She dealt with it patiently. She was like the 'sand bag' for him to vent his frustrations on. She understood his insecurities and wished to help him. She always tried to put him in a better light in front of children and would not like her children to be psychologically affected too.
She wanted her children to respect their father and now, her children are all grown up, she hopes that they will always help him along.
The twenty-year long battle must not be fought in vain. It must be won.
A life battle. It is not won by our human efforts; all we need is to stand firm in our faith. 2 Ch 20:15-17 Yes, Glory to God!
one day abandon his old way of life for the sake of his children. He has not changed at all, getting worser each day after their first child was born. Blissful marriage life did not last long. It ended a year after the marriage vows were taken.
Cecelia refused to give up hope. Her children are her consolation. What made her husband break his promise was something she did not understand. There were some underlying problems that he had not revealed to her. They slowly surfaced throughout the years and at first, Cecelia felt very hurt. It was very unfair to her and she felt cheated. As days went by, she found that her husband could not forget his past and sometimes, he would be mad for reasons incomprehensible to Cecelia. Sometimes when an argument arose, though it was hardly about anything serious, she was hurled with accusations of causing the unhappiness in the family. Her husband would make the children believe she was the bad person.
Cecelia understood that her husband was facing some psychological problems though she could not pin point exactly the nature of it. She dealt with it patiently. She was like the 'sand bag' for him to vent his frustrations on. She understood his insecurities and wished to help him. She always tried to put him in a better light in front of children and would not like her children to be psychologically affected too.
She wanted her children to respect their father and now, her children are all grown up, she hopes that they will always help him along.
The twenty-year long battle must not be fought in vain. It must be won.
A life battle. It is not won by our human efforts; all we need is to stand firm in our faith. 2 Ch 20:15-17 Yes, Glory to God!
Friday, June 1, 2012
What a Beautiful Person!
A Prayerful Person,
Loving God and Doing His Will,
Fearful of Doing Wrong,
Never Harbouring Bad Thoughts,
of Jealousy, of Greed.
Of Temporal Wants,
Only to Find Joy,
That is Here but for
a Short Moment.
Full of Wisdom,
Never Criticising,
or Judging,
For that You will Find,
You are Judged even more.
Truthful yet not Hurting,
Righteous , not Bending to Compromise,
to the Devil or to Human Ways,
Seeker of God's Wisdom.
Loving God and Doing His Will,
Fearful of Doing Wrong,
Never Harbouring Bad Thoughts,
of Jealousy, of Greed.
Of Temporal Wants,
Only to Find Joy,
That is Here but for
a Short Moment.
Full of Wisdom,
Never Criticising,
or Judging,
For that You will Find,
You are Judged even more.
Truthful yet not Hurting,
Righteous , not Bending to Compromise,
to the Devil or to Human Ways,
Seeker of God's Wisdom.
To Forget is Really Hard, But to Forgive, You Must
Ying Jie was married in the early 1950s and she was only 15 then. She became one of the youngest girls to step into the world of adulthood. If she had her own parents still alive, this would not have happened. She was sold to the Chan family at the age of nine when her adoptive parents were killed in a road accident. No one dared to keep her except the patriach of the Chan family, Chan Ma, whose name meant 'mother of the Chan family'. Chan Ma was a widow whose husband died a few months before Ying Jie came into the family. Her deceased husband left her a grocery business which was sufficient to sustain the family of four and soon to be five persons.. Ying Jie was said to be cursed by her natural father who was a lazy man and did not liked the idea of raising up a daughter. He had forced his wife to give up the youngest and only daughter to a childless couple. It was a very sad parting for Ying Jie's mum and she had cried the whole night, refusing to eat any food given to her by her husband. Yet, her tears did not move the hard- hearted husband who was only too glad to get rid of the baby girl for a few hundred dollars.
When she was a maid for the Chan family who had two sons older than her, these two boys were always bullying her. They made her run and down the stairs of the three storey pre-war shophouse bringing them this and that. She did not dare breathe a word of complaint as it would only make matters worst. She would not want her elder sister, who was about six years older, to hear about her unwillingness to do work because it would only make her happier.
Her elder sister, Fong, was also sold to the family as a maid, and because she was there first, she claimed her seniority. She would often boast about how much she knew about the work there and how much Chan Ma appreciated her. At first Ying Jie followed Fong sheepishly around but later, she learned that Fong was only using her and had at several occasions purposely framed her up for the bad things she did not do. Once, she was accused of stealing money from the till box of which she was looking after for a short while, when Fong had to go and relieve herself. Then, she began to see how evil Fong was and she decided to avoid her as much as possible.
The patriach called her one day to tell her that her job would be in the kitchen and whatever there was in the grocery shop would not be her business. Ying Jie was delighted at her new job because that meant she would be seeing all the three bullies less. In the kitchen she worked under the supervision of
Fan Bo, a lady of about forty, supposedly a good friend of the patriach. She had to hand wash all the clothes and every morning it took her three to four hours to finish. By the time she had finished, she would be all wet from head to toe. Nobody cared because if anybody opened his/her mouth to say something, the patriach would surely make that person help out. Ying Jie actually liked washing because she liked to play with the water. However she did not like having to carry water from the main tap to the basin she was using. Sometimes when the pressure was low, the flow of water was too little. Fan Bo told her to get it from the well in the house. The first time Ying Jie peered down at the water of which the level was all the way down ,she felt faint. She felt as if she could fall over into it. She shuddered at the thought of that. What if she really fell into it and no one would know. Who could hear anything from way down there? No, that's not a good idea.
Come, let me show you how to do it. Fan Bo thought Ying Jie did not know how to do it when she saw her hesitating. Remember, you must hold tight to the rope. Don't let go of the rope when you let down this pail. Fong lost a pail the last time she tried to fetch water from this well. I don't want another pail going down this well anymore.
With a jerk at the rope, the pail hit the surface of the water down below and it scooped the water up.
Soon,Fan Bo was pulling up the rope with a pail full of water. Have a go at it, she persuaded Ying Jie.
Ying Jie took the rope and she threw the pail down. It hit the wall of the well so hard that it make a loud noise. Fan Bo called her a stupid and told her to open her eyes bigger to see how she did it. Why are so scared of the pail that you have to throw it like that? At least you remembered to hold on to the rope. If you drop the pail, I will twist your ear off your head.
Ying Jie hated it if Fan Bo talked like that. At that moment, she hated her life. She wished she had the courage to jump down into the well. She did not feel like living anymore. She could not find a happy place to be in. Then, she thought of her own natural mother. She hated her for abandoning her. She did not understand why she had even given birth to her. While she was having negative thoughts, she was interrupted by a kind voice. She looked up with teary eyes. Who is it? How do you know my name?
A small statured lady , about the age of Chan Ma, walked towards her and just before she could say anything, Chan Ma came out nosily, yelling out to Fan Bo and telling her to quickly finish the washing before the rain came. She gestured to the lady and both of them went out to the front portion of the shophouse, chatting as they went along. Ying Jie could not understand most parts of the conversation but after the lady left, Chan Ma told her that she was a distant relative of her adoptive father who had brought a gift for her. On her wedding day, five years later, Ying Jie was told that the lady was her natural mother and she had entrusted Chan Ma with some gold jewellery for her. Her mother was worried that she might never see her again due to her bad health. Just as she had predicted, she died of pneumonia the following year. She was ill-treated by her mother-in-law and was never brought to see a doctor.
Ying Jie had never wanted to marry early. However, the second son of Chan Ma, Er Lang, had forced it on her. One day, while she was in her bedroom getting ready to go downstairs, Er Lang came in suddenly. He locked the door behind him and Ying Jie knew immediately what he intended to do. She shouted at him but he would not listen. She fought back but he was too strong for her. After some time, he let her go when she bit into his arm. He told her that he did not understand why she did not like him. Don't you know I am almost crazy thinking of you? Every time you talked to Ah Fook or Eng Lok, I am getting more afraid of losing you. I want to marry you. I am already twenty one.
You must be crazy. I don't want to marry now. I am only fourteen. I want to study. I want Chan Ma to let me learn a trade.
Yes, you can do that after we marry. Do you think my mother will allow you to go and learn a trade when she is not sure you will be here long. What if you run off and marry somebody outside this family?
I love you, you know that. I know you love me too.
It was in this manner that Ying Jie was sweet talked into giving herself to Er Lang. Soon, Er Lang went about announcing to everybody that he and Ying Jie were going to marry. Chan Ma objected because she had wanted to marry Ying Jie to Ah Kong, a quiet government servant, whose mother was a regular customer at the grocery shop. Chan Ma could not allow her lazy son marry Ying Jie. She had great pity for Ying Jie and would want her to have a better life. Unfortunately, things had happened for the worse. Chan Ma almost died of a heart attack when Er Lang unshamedly told her what had happened. Very quickly, Chan Ma began wedding plans for the two 'fools' before anything untoward might happen later on. A year later, Ying Jie gave birth to her eldest daughter. It was the beginning of a hellish life. Er Lang never went out to work or earn a living. He did not care about Ying Jie or the baby that much. He only cared for his conceited self. He would only talked to Ying Jie when he wanted his animalistic desires satisfied. Then, he would sleep from night till morning, and from morning to night, not coming down for food or drink. When it was the next night, he would wake Ying Jie up to cook him some noodles to eat. Every week this would go on and despite his mother's grumblings , he never changed.
When the eldest daughter was not even a year old, Ying Jie conceived again. Er Lang was rough on her and even forced on her when she was in the trimester of her pregnancy. In the third year of her marriage, she was again pregnant with the third child. Her second son was only three months old. Luckily Chan Ma was one who liked children and she was a great help to Ying Jie. Unfortunately, things began to change when Fong married the eldest son, Da Lang. After a year, when Fong's eldest son was born, Ying Jie began to feel that the world was against her. The family was getting bigger. Er Lang and Ying Jie had to find a place of their own. Finally they found a small hut. They had to pay their own rental and Er Lang had to go out to work. There was no one to help with the children and Ying Jie had never done the full job before. Chan Ma had to help Ah Fong because she had just delivered her second son. Since Ying Jie had only one son, Fong felt that she had more right to ask Chan Ma to help her. She was also dominationg over the household and wanted to take the whole share of the business. Er Lang was too scared to defend Ying Jie, so they had to back out and find a house elsewhere. How Ying Jie hated Er Lang for his helplessness! How much more is she going to suffer! All the empty promises! She could not forgve him for making her suffer so much! After giving birth to two baby girls and a son, she felt really old. How she wished she was like the other eighteen year olds in the village. They looked so carefree
and young. Before she turned nineteen, she was pregnant again with the fourth child. She felt suicidal but when she looked at the cute faces of her children, she could not do it. That night when she was in her lowest mood, Er Lang came home with a new television. It made her very happy because they were one of the first ones to own a television. She felt proud of Er Lang. Perhaps she was wrong about him. Perhaps she should give him more time. The years went by and though times were hard, Er Lang managed to keep his young wife happy by buying new gadgets for the house. Just a year before she turned thirty, Ying Jie had bore Er Lang eleven children. They were the happiest couple in the village.
Prayer for the Day: Pray for child marriages. Pray for those underaged girls who were innocent and who were robbed of their youth, and given a heavy responsibility of an adult to carry on their small shoulders. Poor girls of Nepal, India, and other parts of underdeveloped countries. God , have mercy on them.
When she was a maid for the Chan family who had two sons older than her, these two boys were always bullying her. They made her run and down the stairs of the three storey pre-war shophouse bringing them this and that. She did not dare breathe a word of complaint as it would only make matters worst. She would not want her elder sister, who was about six years older, to hear about her unwillingness to do work because it would only make her happier.
Her elder sister, Fong, was also sold to the family as a maid, and because she was there first, she claimed her seniority. She would often boast about how much she knew about the work there and how much Chan Ma appreciated her. At first Ying Jie followed Fong sheepishly around but later, she learned that Fong was only using her and had at several occasions purposely framed her up for the bad things she did not do. Once, she was accused of stealing money from the till box of which she was looking after for a short while, when Fong had to go and relieve herself. Then, she began to see how evil Fong was and she decided to avoid her as much as possible.
The patriach called her one day to tell her that her job would be in the kitchen and whatever there was in the grocery shop would not be her business. Ying Jie was delighted at her new job because that meant she would be seeing all the three bullies less. In the kitchen she worked under the supervision of
Fan Bo, a lady of about forty, supposedly a good friend of the patriach. She had to hand wash all the clothes and every morning it took her three to four hours to finish. By the time she had finished, she would be all wet from head to toe. Nobody cared because if anybody opened his/her mouth to say something, the patriach would surely make that person help out. Ying Jie actually liked washing because she liked to play with the water. However she did not like having to carry water from the main tap to the basin she was using. Sometimes when the pressure was low, the flow of water was too little. Fan Bo told her to get it from the well in the house. The first time Ying Jie peered down at the water of which the level was all the way down ,she felt faint. She felt as if she could fall over into it. She shuddered at the thought of that. What if she really fell into it and no one would know. Who could hear anything from way down there? No, that's not a good idea.
Come, let me show you how to do it. Fan Bo thought Ying Jie did not know how to do it when she saw her hesitating. Remember, you must hold tight to the rope. Don't let go of the rope when you let down this pail. Fong lost a pail the last time she tried to fetch water from this well. I don't want another pail going down this well anymore.
With a jerk at the rope, the pail hit the surface of the water down below and it scooped the water up.
Soon,Fan Bo was pulling up the rope with a pail full of water. Have a go at it, she persuaded Ying Jie.
Ying Jie took the rope and she threw the pail down. It hit the wall of the well so hard that it make a loud noise. Fan Bo called her a stupid and told her to open her eyes bigger to see how she did it. Why are so scared of the pail that you have to throw it like that? At least you remembered to hold on to the rope. If you drop the pail, I will twist your ear off your head.
Ying Jie hated it if Fan Bo talked like that. At that moment, she hated her life. She wished she had the courage to jump down into the well. She did not feel like living anymore. She could not find a happy place to be in. Then, she thought of her own natural mother. She hated her for abandoning her. She did not understand why she had even given birth to her. While she was having negative thoughts, she was interrupted by a kind voice. She looked up with teary eyes. Who is it? How do you know my name?
A small statured lady , about the age of Chan Ma, walked towards her and just before she could say anything, Chan Ma came out nosily, yelling out to Fan Bo and telling her to quickly finish the washing before the rain came. She gestured to the lady and both of them went out to the front portion of the shophouse, chatting as they went along. Ying Jie could not understand most parts of the conversation but after the lady left, Chan Ma told her that she was a distant relative of her adoptive father who had brought a gift for her. On her wedding day, five years later, Ying Jie was told that the lady was her natural mother and she had entrusted Chan Ma with some gold jewellery for her. Her mother was worried that she might never see her again due to her bad health. Just as she had predicted, she died of pneumonia the following year. She was ill-treated by her mother-in-law and was never brought to see a doctor.
Ying Jie had never wanted to marry early. However, the second son of Chan Ma, Er Lang, had forced it on her. One day, while she was in her bedroom getting ready to go downstairs, Er Lang came in suddenly. He locked the door behind him and Ying Jie knew immediately what he intended to do. She shouted at him but he would not listen. She fought back but he was too strong for her. After some time, he let her go when she bit into his arm. He told her that he did not understand why she did not like him. Don't you know I am almost crazy thinking of you? Every time you talked to Ah Fook or Eng Lok, I am getting more afraid of losing you. I want to marry you. I am already twenty one.
You must be crazy. I don't want to marry now. I am only fourteen. I want to study. I want Chan Ma to let me learn a trade.
Yes, you can do that after we marry. Do you think my mother will allow you to go and learn a trade when she is not sure you will be here long. What if you run off and marry somebody outside this family?
I love you, you know that. I know you love me too.
It was in this manner that Ying Jie was sweet talked into giving herself to Er Lang. Soon, Er Lang went about announcing to everybody that he and Ying Jie were going to marry. Chan Ma objected because she had wanted to marry Ying Jie to Ah Kong, a quiet government servant, whose mother was a regular customer at the grocery shop. Chan Ma could not allow her lazy son marry Ying Jie. She had great pity for Ying Jie and would want her to have a better life. Unfortunately, things had happened for the worse. Chan Ma almost died of a heart attack when Er Lang unshamedly told her what had happened. Very quickly, Chan Ma began wedding plans for the two 'fools' before anything untoward might happen later on. A year later, Ying Jie gave birth to her eldest daughter. It was the beginning of a hellish life. Er Lang never went out to work or earn a living. He did not care about Ying Jie or the baby that much. He only cared for his conceited self. He would only talked to Ying Jie when he wanted his animalistic desires satisfied. Then, he would sleep from night till morning, and from morning to night, not coming down for food or drink. When it was the next night, he would wake Ying Jie up to cook him some noodles to eat. Every week this would go on and despite his mother's grumblings , he never changed.
When the eldest daughter was not even a year old, Ying Jie conceived again. Er Lang was rough on her and even forced on her when she was in the trimester of her pregnancy. In the third year of her marriage, she was again pregnant with the third child. Her second son was only three months old. Luckily Chan Ma was one who liked children and she was a great help to Ying Jie. Unfortunately, things began to change when Fong married the eldest son, Da Lang. After a year, when Fong's eldest son was born, Ying Jie began to feel that the world was against her. The family was getting bigger. Er Lang and Ying Jie had to find a place of their own. Finally they found a small hut. They had to pay their own rental and Er Lang had to go out to work. There was no one to help with the children and Ying Jie had never done the full job before. Chan Ma had to help Ah Fong because she had just delivered her second son. Since Ying Jie had only one son, Fong felt that she had more right to ask Chan Ma to help her. She was also dominationg over the household and wanted to take the whole share of the business. Er Lang was too scared to defend Ying Jie, so they had to back out and find a house elsewhere. How Ying Jie hated Er Lang for his helplessness! How much more is she going to suffer! All the empty promises! She could not forgve him for making her suffer so much! After giving birth to two baby girls and a son, she felt really old. How she wished she was like the other eighteen year olds in the village. They looked so carefree
and young. Before she turned nineteen, she was pregnant again with the fourth child. She felt suicidal but when she looked at the cute faces of her children, she could not do it. That night when she was in her lowest mood, Er Lang came home with a new television. It made her very happy because they were one of the first ones to own a television. She felt proud of Er Lang. Perhaps she was wrong about him. Perhaps she should give him more time. The years went by and though times were hard, Er Lang managed to keep his young wife happy by buying new gadgets for the house. Just a year before she turned thirty, Ying Jie had bore Er Lang eleven children. They were the happiest couple in the village.
Prayer for the Day: Pray for child marriages. Pray for those underaged girls who were innocent and who were robbed of their youth, and given a heavy responsibility of an adult to carry on their small shoulders. Poor girls of Nepal, India, and other parts of underdeveloped countries. God , have mercy on them.
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