During the early 1960s, there weren't as many kinds of businesses or jobs to be engaged in in this part of the world. In the small town that I grew up , the people were mainly farmers, either involved in livestock rearing or in vegetable or commercial crop cultivation.
My father was a very enterprising man. He would go all out to secure whatever small agricultural projects available in the small growing town. He had a few friends who had businesses in town and they would the first ones to receive any news of available projects. Often he would be offered to be a partner because of his experience in working in the rubber estates owned by the British then. His expertise would be the ability to get a workforce of strong and hardy men to toil in the farms or to work under harsh conditions in the virgin jungles as loggers. Being the head of these groups of men and having to work in another town often, it had at one time widened the gap between myself and my father. I remember when I was about nine years old, I was quite afraid of him. There was one occasion I was almost frightened to tears when his loud voice thundered in the living room as he explained his situation to a group of men who came in the middle of the night to claim their wages. It was scary as I heard the men's angry voices from my bedroom. Before these men left finally, they threatened that they were going to come with axes and 'parangs' on the first day of Chinese New Year if my father could get the money to pay them. I could see my mother's worried face as she laid on the bed with me.
Strangely, when I woke up the next morning, I did not see any sadness on both of my parents' face.
I kept on asking my mother about the noisy men the night before but my mother refused to say anything at all. Why are my parents not reacting to the situation? I saw them happily preparing for the Chinese New Year which was a few days away. However, my brother and I were reminded to watch our mouths and be on a good behaviour,otherwise we would be disappointed to see what was going to be in our 'red packets'.
When I grew older, I realised that my parents were actually regretful that such disturbing matters were brought to the knowledge of their children and they did not want us to be unhappy as the festive celebration was just around the corner.
As for the problem that was looming over my father's head that Chinese New Year, they had it settled by pawning some of my mother's gold jewellery to get the cash to pay the workers. It was a problem that had arisen due to a delay on the part of the government authority but the workers would not believe it.
When I was a child, I never considered myself as poor nor rich. It just never occurred to me that there were these categories of people. There were not that many things (clothes, fast foods, toys etc) to buy and consequently not much comparison or competition as such. Perhaps the adults had, in terms of money earning opportunities. I remembered my father's comments about his own career; he seemed to be quite happy and he considered himself lucky to have met a few kind people who had attributed to his improved lifestyle. He had progressed from someone who had to rent a room for his family to someone who owned a few houses and tens of acres of agricultural land.
My father related to me of how he used to grow chillies, watermelons, pumpkins and tapioca while waiting for the rubber seedlings to grow big enough to be transplanted. I was taught never to waste time sitting around and wait for money to drop from the sky. Venture out, go and find something to do, open your mouth to ask, be humble, and yes, humility is the virtue he had always reminded me about. Be not afraid to give, because in giving, you will find that you will be blessed. He went on to elaborate but I had been naughty, so I could not remember what examples he had mentioned.
The one thing I remember is, as a child, I was extremely proud and happy to go on the farm trips, either to the chilli farm or any of the other farms. I used to enjoy the wind blowing on my face as I gazed across the huge farms of chiili trees, watermelon or pumpkin creepers or swaying tapioca trees. I remembered running free in the vast land and I could see the wide blue sky with the clouds fleeting away blown by the strong wind of the day. Birds, of more than one specie appearing suddenly and flying away as I walked around in the farm, to which I had apologised for disturbing their peace and explained that I wasn't aware at all that they were there. I remember I just loved being able to look far away and sometimes I wondered what was beyond the 'impossible to reach' horizon. My poor little feet became tired after the attempt to reach that mysterios line where the land touches the sky.
Now I am in my adulthood, and with my parents long gone, I realise that there were too many words of love and appreciation for them unexpressed. Even so, I am not sad, because it was the same with them with respect to their parents....too many words left unsaid and it will be the same with my children. One day when I am gone, they will also have too many words left unsaid. No regrets, my dear children. Parents don't need you to tell them....they will know and after all, they do not expect anything in return at all.That is how parents love us. Always giving, never taking. You can't beat them in this.
My father was a very enterprising man. He would go all out to secure whatever small agricultural projects available in the small growing town. He had a few friends who had businesses in town and they would the first ones to receive any news of available projects. Often he would be offered to be a partner because of his experience in working in the rubber estates owned by the British then. His expertise would be the ability to get a workforce of strong and hardy men to toil in the farms or to work under harsh conditions in the virgin jungles as loggers. Being the head of these groups of men and having to work in another town often, it had at one time widened the gap between myself and my father. I remember when I was about nine years old, I was quite afraid of him. There was one occasion I was almost frightened to tears when his loud voice thundered in the living room as he explained his situation to a group of men who came in the middle of the night to claim their wages. It was scary as I heard the men's angry voices from my bedroom. Before these men left finally, they threatened that they were going to come with axes and 'parangs' on the first day of Chinese New Year if my father could get the money to pay them. I could see my mother's worried face as she laid on the bed with me.
Strangely, when I woke up the next morning, I did not see any sadness on both of my parents' face.
I kept on asking my mother about the noisy men the night before but my mother refused to say anything at all. Why are my parents not reacting to the situation? I saw them happily preparing for the Chinese New Year which was a few days away. However, my brother and I were reminded to watch our mouths and be on a good behaviour,otherwise we would be disappointed to see what was going to be in our 'red packets'.
When I grew older, I realised that my parents were actually regretful that such disturbing matters were brought to the knowledge of their children and they did not want us to be unhappy as the festive celebration was just around the corner.
As for the problem that was looming over my father's head that Chinese New Year, they had it settled by pawning some of my mother's gold jewellery to get the cash to pay the workers. It was a problem that had arisen due to a delay on the part of the government authority but the workers would not believe it.
When I was a child, I never considered myself as poor nor rich. It just never occurred to me that there were these categories of people. There were not that many things (clothes, fast foods, toys etc) to buy and consequently not much comparison or competition as such. Perhaps the adults had, in terms of money earning opportunities. I remembered my father's comments about his own career; he seemed to be quite happy and he considered himself lucky to have met a few kind people who had attributed to his improved lifestyle. He had progressed from someone who had to rent a room for his family to someone who owned a few houses and tens of acres of agricultural land.
My father related to me of how he used to grow chillies, watermelons, pumpkins and tapioca while waiting for the rubber seedlings to grow big enough to be transplanted. I was taught never to waste time sitting around and wait for money to drop from the sky. Venture out, go and find something to do, open your mouth to ask, be humble, and yes, humility is the virtue he had always reminded me about. Be not afraid to give, because in giving, you will find that you will be blessed. He went on to elaborate but I had been naughty, so I could not remember what examples he had mentioned.
The one thing I remember is, as a child, I was extremely proud and happy to go on the farm trips, either to the chilli farm or any of the other farms. I used to enjoy the wind blowing on my face as I gazed across the huge farms of chiili trees, watermelon or pumpkin creepers or swaying tapioca trees. I remembered running free in the vast land and I could see the wide blue sky with the clouds fleeting away blown by the strong wind of the day. Birds, of more than one specie appearing suddenly and flying away as I walked around in the farm, to which I had apologised for disturbing their peace and explained that I wasn't aware at all that they were there. I remember I just loved being able to look far away and sometimes I wondered what was beyond the 'impossible to reach' horizon. My poor little feet became tired after the attempt to reach that mysterios line where the land touches the sky.
Now I am in my adulthood, and with my parents long gone, I realise that there were too many words of love and appreciation for them unexpressed. Even so, I am not sad, because it was the same with them with respect to their parents....too many words left unsaid and it will be the same with my children. One day when I am gone, they will also have too many words left unsaid. No regrets, my dear children. Parents don't need you to tell them....they will know and after all, they do not expect anything in return at all.That is how parents love us. Always giving, never taking. You can't beat them in this.
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